Oct 22, 2026:
Are you ever ready? Are you ever comfortable with the next big leap? I know I should have more critique. More readings. Maybe wish I had collaborator to bounce and challenge scenes and songs. Its only one step of many tries. I submitted the Diana Effect to local Portland Theater for consideration in new writers festival. I know that realizing a musical produced and on stage is a small tiny fraction. Who knows….maybe someone see’s the vision. Personally, the creative opportunity has been worth every single minute writing so far. And if the full musical never comes to fruition and at least one song lives on in another format then wow, I would be so happy.
In the meantime, also have made steps to begin recording the next few songs. Going Bollywood! This will be fun. I’ve never really seen a true Bollywood movie. But have connected with someone who sings Hindi, Punjabi and Urdu. Of course this will be in English. Lets see where it goes. Plus also working with previous recording artist to make more magic.
Sept 25, 2026:
And then another break in between. A very long break. LONG Break. Remodeling a house, making decisions and rolling up your sleeves to do some of the work yourself all the while keeping up with a full time job…..it left little time for writing. I put my writing on hold while the house became the daily focus. But I never stopped thinking about The Diana Effect. All the while stripping, sanding, painting the house and planting the garden, I re-wrote in my mind certain scenes. This break gave me opportunity to come back to it with a fresh set of eyes. I had a song recorded. What now? I gave myself a time to think. I let myself feel its ok to not write, to have a break and not stress about it. When it felt right, I picked up my writing again. I gained back my early mornings. I took Diana Effect with me on a cruise through Mediterranean and to Mauritius Island when on business trip to do inspiration rework and rewriting. Early on in my original crafting of Diana Effect, I was so fortunate to write on many business trips in London, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Singapore, Spain, Melbourne, Helsinki and many other places. Diana Effect has been all over the world and been inspired by and in many libraries and coffee shops. And here I am today where I am happy once again. Happy in that the re-write feels good. Is it perfect?….not yet.
Jan 4, 2025:
And then the song landed. I remember vividly seeing the message arrive. It was something like 5am in the morning on a Saturday. My weekends at 4 and 5am are when I cherish thinking and writing when its quiet and all the world is asleep or slowly waking up. Seeing the song was ready for listening had two-fold reaction: 1) scary as hell that the song would be awful and just a total mess – would I just abandon the whole endeavour and end here, and 2) I cannot wait to listen - I had been waiting for this moment. I put earbuds in and clicked play. I’m a pretty emotional person to begin with. Tears came to my eyes hearing it for the first time. Your first recording. My first recording ever of any music I had written. It exceeded beyond my expectations. The recording artist nailed it! It is beautiful. Still too long in length….but already know how to fix. It confirmed to me that The Diana Effect is actually something to continue dreaming and pursuing. I think I listened to that recording maybe 15 times that morning.
Sept 2024:
And then Life takes you on a journey that twists and turns. A journey that included buying a house ‘on a whim’ while on vacation back in the city we love – Portland Oregon. A house that was in the old neighborhood. A house that needed a ton of love and a lot of rebuilding. A total re-do. And of course, a move from Denver back to Portland. Downsizing. Packing. Long drive. Unpacking. Life totally thrown up in the air. But thrilled and excited with moving back to Pacific Northwest. Oh the distractions.
Aug 25, 2024:
So the music journey begins. I felt confident enough with one song. I made decision to reach out on Fiverr and connect with potential singers/composers. I wanted to see if one song actually sounded good. If what I wrote actually was lyrically sound worthy. I began a back and forth with someone who was truly gifted with their voice. I was unsure how this would all turn out. Would hiring someone who I just heard snippets of some of their recordings take my lyrics and make it ‘zing’. My goal was “take the lyrics and show me what you would do with the song”. I turned it over to her and her first reply was….”its very long”. Little did I realize the song was 6 minutes long. 6 Minutes! I cut. She cut. I gave her leeway to make edits to make the song work! And then I waited.
Jun 19, 2024:
WOW. Wow. Its been a very long while since I put some words here. So much has happened in between – a lot of personal stuff to take in….alot that diverts from focus on writing. But still keep on writing as it keeps me sane and provides my artistic passion to be satisfied. And with that comes the challenges with writing. Continued with the writers group participation. And the overwhelming sense of ‘what the hell am I doing here’. I will admit that the feedback in the group was tough. I pushed myself to do something I was totally not comfortable with. I did gain quite a bit of insight and feedback. Some good. Some bad. Ultimately I had no music to present. As a result I was chastised for not ‘singing’. I tried and tried to sing some of my lyrics. I can’t even describe listening to myself trying to sing the songs. It almost made me want to just quit. Abandon the whole thing. But I realized that the first draft of lyrics were just rough words on paper. Had no rhyme or structure (and I still don’t know if have structure). So I chose to re-write all songs…..all 18 songs! One by one. And I discovered that it made them better. Some are amazing now. Some still need work. But I feel more confident putting them to music now. Or working with a composer. And I also realized that I’m just not ready to be in a writers group. Diana needs more work. More development. I still think the Book needs re-writing. But my focus right now is with finding a composer. I’m researching Maestra and pursuing a female composer. I want to make this production female driven. So my journey continues…..
Dec 3, 2023:
A little bit of a lull. The patience required. The waiting. Waiting to hear feedback. I have a group of “First Ladies”….literally they are all female that are first to read the storybook. Its not their first priority. But so eager to hear what they think. A few have shared their first impression of Opening and first couple of Acts. So far it is positive. And the second session of Writers Group was positive as well. They are encouraged with what they are hearing/reading. It was a bit jarring to hear other people read the parts ‘out loud’. I assigned Scene 5 roles to others in the group. They read through the lines and I started to have a panic attack. I thought it sounded awful. And was preparing for tough critical feedback. Was quite shocked that overall they had good things to say. But I did realize, and it was pointed out, that the dialog was “written” and not conversational. A lot of work to do with re-writing. I think I will grab some friends and ask if they will play the parts for me to record and hear how it sounds.
The other development that I’m focused on is finding a musical collaborator. I have not yet posted an ad. I’ve searched Craigslist just to see. No luck. Spent some time connecting with university music schools. Will give that a try to see if anything materializes. Then will try posting ads. I am so eager to hear some of the lyrics come to life. It will mean I have a lot more re-writing to do. But hopefully with a collaborator.
Nov 4, 2023:
So two musicals in two weekends. This is not a critique of either Tina or Working. I went with intention of observing various musical aspects. The What If song. How was opening. Closing scene for Act 1. I observe a lot of online writing about “how musicals should be”. Its obvious that they don’t fit into a cookie-cutter format. Working is vignettes of various people….’working’. I kinda see Diana Effect in the same format with vignettes with the First Ladies. I think I’ve pulled together but will need to check myself. As of this writing, I’ve made substantial edits to reveal and share to first group (who I am calling the First Ladies Group) for reading and feedback. I fully recognize that this early draft is still very rough. The next phases will take this through so many different iterations. I’ve even wondered if First Ladies should be drawn down and production reformatted to be more about Diana and Diana Doubt. Maybe Diana Doubt just becomes more prominent. It is so funny, once I open up and share about The Diana Effect, I get carried away and can talk on and on about. Quite a few family and friends do know about what I’ve been working on for the past 2 years. Now, it enters into a new phase where I am receiving critical feedback. And also where I hopefully get to hear how some of the music will be interpretated. That will be thrilling. I hope!
Oct 27, 2023:
I survived first serious exposure of my work. Putting yourself out there is never a comfortable moment. I had not participated in a writers group before. And for some reason I thought, go for it and presented my synopsis as the second person up. But I guess I feel so excited and confident in the work and I’m so happy to talk about it. However, I do need to caution myself as ‘what I think may be good’…..others may have totally different opinion. Which should be expected. Overall, feedback was positive. Some felt I was on-to something with the concept. I do not feel the synopsis is where it should be. Trying to cram so much detail into one page is challenging. And as such, the storyline may not come across effectively as is it stands now. Diana’s imagined storyline with the First Ladies is not a straightforward plotline. I do like the suggestion that the group leader provided to me. ‘Go have tea with your character’. Find out what your character wants. Love that idea! I “think” I do have in the story. Maybe I need to focus and bring it out more prominently. In the meantime, I’m going to see Tina: The Musical tonight. And next weekend, Working.
PS: the most bizarre (and probably thinking I’m pretty crazy) thing happened the night of the first writers group meeting. I had a vivid dream. I was driving in a car sitting in the back seat. Up front were Meghan and Harry. I carried on a long conversation with Meghan and the spotlight on women in the production. Yep….I’m pretty crazy!!!!!
Oct 21, 2023:
My first entry of journey for Diana Effect. Some immediate reflections as I write. I’m heading to a funeral. Someone who passed away relatively young. And I ask myself, does Unfinished Storybook resonant? Do I feel the words written express what it means to lose someone you love or know so young. When they still have more to tell in this world. But we will never know as its unwritten or never finished. It definitely will be something I reflect on over the next few days. Maybe at a later date I will share how this song came to be. It was the hardest for me to write. But also once it started, it flowed easily. I had the experience to share. And it came from the heart.
Where else am I on this journey. So scared senseless! I pushed myself without talking myself out of joining a writing group. I have committed to a 12 month writing group. To read, listen, share and collaborate on each others works. Putting Diana out there is terrifying. Its not ready. Then I think its ready. Then I read another scene and want to re-write. Its part of the process. Totally get it. But OMG the critique – are you ever ready for it? What if this whole premise is just a complete mess. I tell myself that regardless the outcome, I’ve relished every single moment of the torture, sleepless nights/early mornings, and joy. The joy is being creative. To live in a fantasy world where I can create.